Roberto, 60, of Santa Cruz, Calif., has been giving his adult son $2,000 a month since last summer to cover his living expenses.
“My son is 29 years old,” he says. “He has a college degree in mathematics and completed an intensive three-month bootcamp in data analysis that cost $15,000 10 months ago. I’m looking for a job but haven’t found anything so far. He and his wife rent a small studio and the rent is basically covered by my payments for the past 7 or 8 years. I have been supporting him in this way for months.”
Roberto is one of many Americans who told the Guardian that they support their adult children financially.
Nearly half of American parents provide some type of financial support to their adult children, but their children struggle with higher food and living costs than they do, according to a new study.
Parents contacted said their adult children work full-time in skilled jobs but are unable to pay for housing, transportation, child care, medical care, and insurance without their parents’ help. Many shared their situation and said that their children’s economic dependence benefits them financially. The outlook is bleak.
Various parents also said their children were financially dependent on their parents due to unemployment, health or addiction issues, or relationship breakdowns.
Some parents said they were only supporting their children temporarily until the situation improved, or providing a lump sum for cars, medical care, and housing costs, but some parents said they were only supporting their children temporarily until the situation improved, or providing a lump sum for cars, medical care, and housing costs, while others Some parents said this was a quasi-permanent arrangement as they were unable to do so.
Roberto said his son has worked various jobs since graduating from college, including as a postal worker.
“Lack of professional experience seems to be the biggest barrier to my son getting a job. Every job requires two years of experience,” he said.
This economy excludes many qualified people Roberto
“He might get a job at a supermarket or Trader Joe’s, but that’s not his career goal, it’s not what he’s trained for, and those are low-paying jobs. I want him to compromise. Fortunately, I can afford to support him. If I hadn’t, he probably would have had a greater sense of urgency about finding a job. Despite everyone constantly saying that “the future is Stem”, there is not an abundance of suitable jobs for him in this field. Due to the proximity to Silicon Valley, where many layoffs occur, they are likely competing against many people with many years of experience.
“Maybe my son is doing something wrong, but my impression is that this economy is excluding a lot of qualified people.”
The 64-year-old father, a small business owner from the North West, asked to remain anonymous and said he and his wife were struggling to support their several adult children.
“One of our daughters has a lot of credit card debt and we are helping her pay it off,” he said.
“In 2023, she had $24,000 in debt. She is now 29 years old, married with one child, and works at a daycare center for $18 an hour. Her husband is I support my family’s daily life while working a side job.
“We provide free child care for their son and feed the family once or twice a week. Over the past six months, we have averaged about $700 a month to pay off our debt. We paid and now we are trying to buy a house for them to live in at a low rent for us.
“My other daughter is also recently divorced and raising one grandchild. We support her financially by letting her drive a car that is insured and has bridge fares paid. She works two part-time jobs and runs a small business.
Two other children still live at home, but thankfully they don’t need any cash assistance, he said.
“All of this is putting stress on our finances. With negative economic headwinds, our small businesses are barely staying afloat while each of our children’s savings are eroding. Because of this, we are considering taking money out for retirement.”
Allen, 68, a retired lawyer from Minnesota, is one of many people who say they financially support their adult children because they have money they don’t need to spend.
“We gave our daughter $100,000 as a down payment on a home and loaned her half of the remaining mortgage, $450,000, at 3% interest. We made it cheaper,” Allen said.
“We paid for our children’s college tuition, so they don’t have any debt. They don’t need money, and my wife and I are very frugal.”
Despite being able to support his daughter easily financially, Allen said he and his wife were struggling because they and her partner together earned a decent salary of about $150,000 to $170,000 a year. He said he was unsure whether he was doing the right thing.
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“I don’t understand the spending and saving habits of the younger generation,” he says. “My daughter and her partner have well-paying jobs, but they never seem to have any extra money. I’m wasting my money on this.
“In contrast, our frugality has made our retirement very comfortable.My daughter wants to be independent, but I am worried that she will reach retirement without any savings.
“We want to do the things that make our children the healthiest, the strongest, the happiest. But as parents, we don’t know what that is, whether it’s enabling our children or[inhibiting]them. It’s a strange dynamic.”
Natalie, a 35-year-old freelance ghostwriter and mother of two young children from Portland, Oregon, is one of several people who say they receive financial support from their elderly parents. .
She said she has relied on regular payments of about $1,000 a month from her mother for more than a year.
“My writing income matches my husband’s full-time teaching salary, and our household income is about $70,000 a year, but we still can’t get by. Despite my efforts, I am a retired mother. I have no choice but to ask for help,” she says.
“After paying $2,200 in rent, groceries, $900 in medical insurance, preschool tuition for one of my children that increased to $750 a month, and an additional $1,000 in utilities, at the end of each month, I realized I was underwater.”
Our mother is sadly watching her savings dwindle as she plans to support us financially Natalie
After decades as an ER nurse, she retired completely at age 62 and now has three of her five adult children, all in their 30s and 40s, said her mother, Natalie. He is thinking of finding work again to support himself.
“We all live in expensive areas. My mother is sadly watching her savings dwindle as she plans to support us financially. She is a giver and now finds herself on a very tight budget. She is looking into transcription jobs that she can do from home and it breaks our hearts as a family. We’re talking about how we can repay her,” Natalie explained.
“Every day I feel like I’m failing, but given the hours of the day, I don’t know what else I can do. My day starts at 6 a.m. and ends at 1 a.m. ”
For the past six months, Natalie and her husband have been donating plasma twice a week in exchange for cash, earning them an additional $450 per month.
“You’ll feel really weak for the next few days. You may have a fever, shivering, and chills,” says Natalie.
“We discuss at least once a month whether we should move to Portugal or France, where my sister lives, a place with basic necessities such as socialized healthcare and free childcare. Anywhere is fine.
“When I look at my children, I feel irresponsible for giving birth to them. And when I look at their mother, I feel pain for the position I put her in. I send my son to kindergarten. I walk past tents of homeless 30-somethings who take over the city and wonder, “One day, will that be me?” ” Please think. ”
